Weight...maintenance?

This so speaks to me. I am forever a sucker-inner.

I'm supposed to LOSE the weight, alright body? Not MAINTAIN the weight I've been at for the past 4 years. 

Now granted, I'm not eating truly great and I'm definitely not exercising as much as I should. I have a tendency to eat small breakfasts and lunches and then large dinners. Which doesn't give my body enough time to digest. Or I totally blow my sugar grams in breakfast and I'm just trying (and failing) to limit my sugar the rest of the day. 

Or I just don't take my walk at night. It's been stormy/rainy where I live the whole week and unfortunately the walks (and squat challenges) have just flown out the window. 

But here's the thing.  My scale says a number. But I don't feel like that number. I feel pretty good. I look in the mirror and I'm liking what I see more and more. Not every part of me is perfect, but my clothes are fitting better. I even have to use the smallest notch on my belt loop and sometimes that's not even tight enough. I need to keep going.

I only have 44 days left until my beach trip. That gives me roughly 3 days per pound or 2 pounds a week. I'm not saying I can do it. But I am saying I'm going to try harder. I'm going to eat cleaner. I'm not going to cheat so horribly on the weekends (which has been my major downfall). I am actually going to get outside, even if it's raining, so that I can jog walk.  I will do my squats. I may even add arms! With my 5 pound weights mind you. I won't eat so many carbs. I won't eat so much sugar. I won't eat any desserts if I can help myself. 

Oh man, this is going to be tough. I am itching to go on a walk right now though and that has to be a good sign, right?