Mommin' Ain't Easy

When Nina was only a few weeks old we took her to the doctor for a wellness check. One of the ladies behind the front desk asked us how we were doing at and that point, Nina wasn't sleeping horribly. She said that we were so lucky and the sleep deprivation was the thing that surprised her the most. I remember thinking, hmm, Nina must just be a great sleeper and we are lucky we don't have to deal with sleep deprivation!

Well.

Nina is going through her 4 month sleep regression and every night is different and every night is a horrible battle. Up every 2-3 hours, up for 2 hours at a time, constantly nursing, fussing, whining, and crying. Jesse and I are both exhausted and at our wits end.

I keep thinking back to that receptionist and her words. Yes, sleep deprivation is hard. I am so tired, I have a headache, and I feel like I could just lay my head down on this desk at work and fall asleep forever.

It's the stuff that comes with the sleep deprivation though. You start to question yourself, your abilities as a parent, why you wanted to become a parent at all. Ugh.


It's that second hour you're rocking and your nipples are sore and you're thinking, wait, do I really want to be a Mom anymore? What if I ran away?

And guess what? THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT. Your mind is completely scrambled like eggs because you have no sleep and your head is throbbing and you have to pee and you can't believe it is already 3am and you have to be up to function like a normal adult in 4 hours.

It doesn't mean you don't love your child. It doesn't mean you aren't a good parent. It doesn't mean you are going to run away or leave your child to cry or any of that.


You're just SO tired.

But then she smiles!

Cue the melting heart

I'm not crying, you're crying

What's Going On

It's been a minute since I've updated and I feel now is the time to document the little things happening in my life.

She loves to stare at us while we smile and talk

Nina is doing well! She's still small, but I believe she will just be a small baby. She is in size 0-3 and 3 months and wears size 1 diapers. She's at home with my mom and Jesse during the week and with me on the weekends. My mom is loving it of course, she adores her. Nina had a couple good days with Jesse so now he thinks he has it down pat. HA! Wait until she fusses all day and won't sleep more than 30 minutes. Just kidding - she is a sweet baby, some days are just harder than others. 

Such a sweet happy baby!

She sleeps during the night! She usually goes a 6-7 hour stretch and then wakes to nurse. I'm with her for 30-45 minutes and then she will go back down for 3-4 hours. Some nights she sleeps 9 hours straight. But those are few and far between. No matter, she is a good sleeper so I won't complain. 

She loves to bring her feet up and kick at the toys hanging

I'm so excited for all the new things she does. She grabs for toys and has noticed her feet and hands. She loves bath time (but HATES to get out) and to read books with us. She is a morning girl and loves to lay in bed with me and Jesse and just hang.

MY LIFE.

I don't write in her baby book. I know, I'm a horrible mother. I keep meaning to and then I find something else to do with my very limited free time. I am going to start tonight. I don't want to forget all the tiny things about her that make her so sweet and happy.

I have been back at work for 1 week now and I'm already looking forward to Thanksgiving when I can have a 4 day weekend. I enjoy working, and I really enjoy my free time at work, when I can be by myself and find my groove. I do miss her though and love the updates and pictures.

I am still figuring out the balance between work/mom life/wife life. Some days are harder than others and some days I'm just too tired to do it all. 

I have definitely gained weight. Even though I'm nursing (which is awesome), I eat poorly. Think 25 frosted animal cookies at a time. I'm sorry but they are delicious. My pre-pregnancy jeans fit, but are tight. I think after the holidays I want to eat healthy and exercise. Try to get down even below my pre-pregnancy weight. 

Jesse might be going on a 9 week training starting in January. I am sad and scared. He will miss so much of Nina's life. And I'll be a single mother for a while and that will be hard. I really really really don't want him to go. But I know it will further his career and is inevitable at this point. Ugh.

Other than that, life is good. We are figuring this little girl out and I feel pretty in tune with her needs. She gets cuter and cuter every day I swear. She has become so vocal and we "talk" with each other, she loves to play and she is very interactive and smiles all the time. She is the love of our life!

My beautiful happy bean!

Maternity Leave

I go back to work on Monday. That sucks. I so enjoyed my maternity leave. I loved waking up with my baby and tending to her. Everything was hard, don't get me wrong. But a good hard. Because Nina will smile at me and I remember that I get to be her Mama and she loves me. Which is the greatest feeling in the whole world.

But I have to go back and that's OK. I'll enjoy working again and handling problems and talking to adults. I'll enjoy my drives to work and the time alone (you get NO alone time as a mom unless she is sleeping and then honestly I'm doing stuff around the house.)

I thought I was going to accomplish so much on maternity leave. Clean and organize the house, watch a lot of movies, go places and visit people. Honestly? I didn't do any of that. I managed to take care of Nina, cook dinner on occasion, and walk the dog. But that's ok. I realize I have the rest of my life to clean the house, watch the movies and visit people. But I won't have these last three months of her life ever again. I can't believe she is 3 months old and yet I feel like she has been in our lives forever.

Point is - I love her, I'll miss her smiling face, and I can't wait until 5pm Monday already.

Nina Lynn, A Birth Story Part 2

Jesse is absolutely amazing with her.

I love her milk drunk faces.

She is so serious.

OK! Part 2, here we go.

The doctor came in at 5am on Sunday morning and let me know she was going to start me on a medication called Cytotek. It was to help soften my cervix so that I could dilate hopefully on my own and become fully effaced. I took the medication and tried to go back to sleep.

Here's the thing about hospitals, you can't sleep. You're hooked up to IVs, a blood pressure cuff, there are so many monitors beeping and lights in your eyes, and the nurses check  you every 2 hours. I know that's their job, but come on. I was exhausted. I basically got no rest after I took the medication. The contractions were about 6-7 minutes apart at that point and I would breathe through them. Not awful, but not pleasant. 

My mom came to the hospital early that morning to hang out with me while Jesse went home to let the dog out and get some extra pillows (he got no sleep either). Things started to get painful. The nurse had me walk the halls to "open me up" but it was so painful. I would have to stop every 3 minutes to grip the wall and breathe through a new contraction. By 12pm, I was done. I was exhausted, my entire body hurt, I couldn't bear it any longer. Finally Jesse walked through the door and I burst into tears. The weight of the last 3 days had come to a head and I sobbed in Jesse's arms. The doctor ordered the epidural and the anesthesiologist was able to administer the medicine (after 3 tries and a lot more tears).  

I remember feeling the medicine course through me and my body relaxed. I laid down flat and fell asleep finally. The rest of Sunday afternoon and evening is sort of a blur. I did my best to get some rest but the massive amounts of pressure in my bottom would overwhelm me at times. The anesthesiologist would come in and give me a "boost" of epidural and it would relax me enough to fall asleep, only to wake up 2 hours later and need it again. But he came in every time like my own personal drug dealer. It was amazing.

My water broke some time during the evening. I remember the nurse checking me and saying she could feel it. She scratched it with her fingernail and it broke. At one point the anesthesiologist and Jesse helped me to sit up, and out gushed everything! It was the oddest feeling.

During the evening and through the night the nurse and doctor would check me every 2 hours. I was dilating 1 centimeter every 2 hours. It was an excruciatingly long night. Finally, at 5:30am, after using the birthing peanut, having pitocin pumped in me all night, and no sleep, I was 10 centimeters. 

I started pushing around 6:15am. I have to stop here and tell you how incredible Jesse was. The entire time he put up with my pain, my complaining, my tears, and when it came time to push, he held my legs, counted through each push and contraction, kept his eyes on me, fed me ice chips, got me anything I wanted or needed. He stayed by my side the entire two hours I pushed. He held my hand, fanned me with a pillow when I got hot, encouraged me when the epidural ran out half way through pushing, and talked me through crowning. I can't even explain how supportive he was, it reduces me to tears. 

About an hour and a half into pushing, I felt liquid leaking out. The doctor told me our baby girl had made a bowl movement in the womb and we needed to speed things up a bit. They broke the bed down, and got ready for delivery. I got worried. I had read about meconium poisoning and how horrible it could be for her. I got so nervous, I kept asking the doctors and nurses what was happening, how close she was to coming out. They told me not to worry, but that Jesse couldn't cut the cord because they had to get her right to the nursery team to make sure she was OK. The time between the meconium leaking and her crowning is so blurry. I pushed with everything I had. I remember her crowning and the nurse giving me a play by play, "her ears are out, now her eyes, her nose, her mouth!" 

I pushed as hard as I could, but suddenly the nurse pushed the bed back as far as it would go, there was a flurry of movement, they told me to bear down hard on my stomach and I felt it. The doctor cut me and I screamed in pain. The nurses were pushing on my stomach and Jesse was telling me to push hard and I felt her little legs come out. They grabbed her and took her away and we finally heard her cry. Jesse's face in that moment is something I'll never forget. I told him to run over and see her while they cleaned me up. The doctor had to cut me laterally in two places because she had shoulder dystocia. Basically her little shoulder got stuck and they had to get her out immediately. 

The aftermath was sort of a blur. They stitched me and cleaned me up, I nursed our daughter and they moved us to the postpartum room. She weighed 7 lbs, 1 oz, was 20 inches long, and born at 8:23am. 

Here's the thing. This was a long post, but my labor was long and hard. Maybe not as long and hard as some, but I wasn't expecting to labor for 72 hours. When it was all said and done, I was so happy she was here. But I won't be having another baby for awhile I think!

She is so perfect. She makes the most adorable noises, she was worth every single night of heartburn, every swollen toe, every minute of those 3 days of pain.  Nina is here and I couldn't be happier. Sometimes I stare at her and just tear up because I love her so much.

Things are so different now. Our lives revolve around this little peanut, and even though it's hard sometimes, and I'm more tired now than ever, I seriously wouldn't trade anything. 

Nina Lynn: A Birth Story, Part 1

Nina Lynn

Our beautiful daughter was born August 8, 2016 at 8:23am.

Buckle in, this is going to be a long one.

The Thursday before my due date (8/4) I was having back pains and very mild contractions, mainly Braxton Hicks. So I texted my boss and told her I would work from home that day just in case. I had a really busy day at the office on Wednesday, so I was just attributing the pain to that, thinking I had overworked my body. Thursday passed and I felt fairly relaxed all day, even managing to watch my 5 month old nephew for an hour or so while his mom went to a doctor's appointment. By the end of the day, I was back on the birthing ball, hoping something would start!

Friday morning around 3:30am I woke up with contractions every 7-10 minutes. They were painful, but totally manageable and I breathed through them until about 6:30am when I finally got out of bed to go to the bathroom. I had been slowly losing my mucus plug for days and when I wiped, I saw bright blood. I may have jumped the gun a bit, but I was nervous, so I called the doctor and he asked me to come into the hospital to just get checked. Jesse had gone to work around 5:15am, but I asked him to keep his phone on him at all times just in case. When I called he kept saying, did your water break? But are you sure? I wasn't sure, but the doctor said to come in, and I wanted to be better safe than sorry. When we left for the hospital, the contractions were 6 minutes apart. By the time the doctor checked me, they were 10 minutes apart and I was still only 50% effaced and not dilated. And thus began my 3 day prodromal labor.

Prodromal labor is a labor with real contractions that can happen as close as 2 minutes apart, but the intensity of the contractions isn't enough to where your body can dilate quickly and on its own. Therefore, at one point I had contractions every 2 minutes, but was only 1.5 centimeters dilated with no end in sight.

They sent us home from the hospital and Jesse got me Dunkin' Donuts to cheer me up. The worst part was being sent home. I had called my mom and told her what happened, she had gotten excited, and I had to squash it. The rest of Friday I just tried to relax, but contractions would still happen every 7-10 minutes so it was almost impossible. Jesse and I laid around and took a long walk trying to start something, hoping my water would break. We went to bed around 11pm and I was thinking, this is my life now. Contractions every 10 minutes and nothing to show for it.

I woke up Saturday morning at 1:30am. The contractions were definitely stronger and were now 5 minutes apart. I waited it out. I did not want to be sent home again. Finally around 3:30 I called the hospital in massive pain. They were so strong and so close together, 4 and a half minutes. The doctor asked me to come in (a different doctor than the day before). I woke Jesse up, he loaded us in the car as he had done the day before, and we got to the hospital. By the time I undressed and they checked me, they had slowed way down. Maybe every 7 minutes. I was so disappointed. I had dilated to 1.5 centimeters though, but by this point I had been in labor for basically 24 hours, running on no sleep.

We hung out in a labor and delivery room until around 8am and the doctor gave me two options. Go home and try to rest or start pitocin and see if it works. I wanted to avoid pitocin like the plague, so we opted to go home.

Saturday we slept (me until around 12 and Jesse until about 2) and my mom brought us dinner. She knew how disappointed we were and how exhausting it had been. I was STILL having contractions. Every 5-7 minutes, but I did NOT want to go back to the hospital. Finally around 9:30pm, I had enough.The contractions were hitting 2-3 minutes apart. I was terrified. They were painful and my sister-in-law kept texting me to go to the hospital. I told her no, this isn't it. She insisted and I called the doctor. I remember telling the doctor though tears, I can't be discharged again. She assured me I wouldn't be.

We managed to make it to the hospital though I'm not sure how. I could barely walk and was in a lot of pain. They wheeled me to Triage and I remember the nurse saying, you won't be with me for long! You're going to have this baby soon! I told her no, it's prodromal labor. Don't get my hopes up.

Sure enough, I was still only 1.5 centimeters dilated. But they admitted me and gave me a super cool medication that allowed me to zonk out for around an hour and a half. My body was so tired. I had been contracting for 48 hours on almost no sleep. Around 5am the doctor flipped the lights on and told me her plan.

To be continued!

Still here...

how far along: 39 Weeks, 2 Days

due date: 8/7, 5 days away, 12 days away from induction day, ? days until she's here?

size of the baby: a small watermelon. at this point mommy instincts puts her at over 7.5 pounds.

baby is: moving further into my pelvis if all this pelvic pain and pressure is any indication.

movement: good. she sort of just pushes on my belly. poor thing is running out of room.

gender: girl!

total weight gain: yikes, not sure. thought i was doing well keeping it at 25 pounds, but i haven't weighed myself in awhile, and i'm eating whatever the heck i want.

stretch marks: really none. i've lathered on the burt's bees belly butter every day and i've been lucky.

symptoms: oof. so Jesse and I decided to go out to eat on Friday night as it may be our last date night for awhile. while we were there, i started to feel very sick and nauseous. then the pain started. contractions and pelvic pressure and pain. i told Jesse and he rushed to get the check and get us out of there. he gathered up the go bags and I told him just to give me a minute. I was able to relax and the pain went away. then Saturday we had a pretty normal day and I was able to borrow a birthing ball from a mom friend of mine. I spent most of Saturday evening on it, trying to open up my pelvis and hips. Saturday night I woke up at 1:30 with the worst cramp I had ever felt. I went downstairs and sat on the ball, tried to stretch my back out as that was killing me too. Contractions were every 8 minutes, but then they subsided around 3:30am and I was able to fall back asleep. the entire time I kept wanting my water to break so it could be the real thing! now i'm learning this might have been prodromal labor? 

wedding rings on or off: they're on maternity leave.

belly button in or out: still flush.

maternity clothes: if not that, then sweatpants.

  

sleep: not great. last night wasn't bad, but i'm very uncomfortable and my body is waking up 30-45 minutes before my alarm every day. as if to say, ok you've been in this position too long, time to get up.

missing: nothing.

cravings/aversions: still really cold drinks.

cries: almost cried Saturday night from the pain, but I was able to get into positions to manage it. 

nursery: basically done! Jesse has constructed the bookshelves (baby steps people) but needs to hang them. hoping he does that today!

Jesse is: honestly he was pretty cute on Friday night. I told him how much pain I was in and he immediately wanted to get the check and grab our go bags and get out of the restaurant. He has also been opening the car door for me and helping me in and out, which has been very sweet.

best moments: i want the best moment to be today at my appointment. i want her to tell me I'm dilated and more effaced than last week. i want that!

not so best moments: i'm not sure. Saturday was painful, yes. and not progressing or anything happening was a bummer. but i really want the pain, i want to know i'm in labor.

looking forward to: having her!

next appointment: today at 3. from then i assume we will schedule the next appointment for next week and then we will be induced on the 14th!

Progress is A Loaded Word

how far along: 38 Weeks, 3 Days

due date: 8/7. 11 days until the due date and 18 until my induction date (if it comes to that)

size of the baby: a spaghetti squash, or around 6.5-9 pounds (probably 7.5 at this point) and 19-22 inches long. definitely big.

baby is: 50% effaced! i went to the doctor this morning and even though i am not dilated at all (boo), she is making progress. i texted my sister in law and told her it really felt like nothing and she said, "you know what nothing is? zero dilation and zero effacement and being induced". She was induced at 38 weeks 4 days due to preeclampsia and hadn't progressed at all.

movement: still pretty good. she's been doing this thing at night that feels like wiggling in my pelvis. it's funny feeling.

gender: baby girl Nina? Jesse and I tentatively chose Nina Lynn for her name. Nina was my great grandmother's name who passed 7 years ago and Lynn was the name of Jesse's mother who passed 9 years ago. It is also my middle name and my mother's middle name. So technically that is her name. Though it may change when she pops out! Nothing is official until it is written on that birth certificate!

total weight gain: still 25. I was 175.8 at the doctor's this morning.

stretch marks: do i even care anymore? nope.

symptoms: contractions and back pains, but nothing regular or constant. also i pulled something in my neck on Saturday night and it's been aching ever since.

wedding rings on or off: maybe we'll reunite in August.

belly button in or out: still flush.

maternity clothes: always. i wear the same 5 outfits to work every week because of the dang weather being in the upper 90's with humidity every day.

  

sleep: friday night I slept for 11 hours. 11 whole hours. it was glorious. it's been downhill ever since though.

missing: i don't even know. i can't remember not being pregnant. so i guess i'm not missing anything? sleep maybe.

cravings/aversions: chocolate milk and cold chocolate ice cream. anything super cold.

cries: nah not really. i haven't cried due to impatience or anything. at this point, my induction is scheduled for 8/14. i at least have an end date in sight. if i go before then, great! if i make it to the 14th, at least we'll have a baby girl on the other side of this whole ordeal.

nursery: the bookshelves came in yesterday. Jesse has a pretty full work week so I don't expect them to be hung before Saturday, but still, she isn't going to care whether or not she has shelves!

Jesse is: so fed up with work. His boss is trying to get him to work even though he has tons of leave time and is taking 3 weeks off after I give birth. I can't wait to just be a family of three, hanging out at home.  

best moments: last night was a good night. Jesse and I ate dinner, watched our show (Better Call Saul, so good!) took a long walk with Lucy and then we were able to squeeze in some intimate time. I was hoping it would jump start labor, but no such luck. I can't wait to be able to look at him or call him and say "i think my water broke" 

not so best moments: working. my boss is back this week (yay!) so i don't feel as much stress and pressure, but i'm looking at the calendar and thinking, I can't have the baby this week, I still have to train the new guy. Then he goes on vacation, of course, next week, so I can't have her then! When can I have her?!

looking forward to: meeting my baby girl.

next appointment: Tuesday 8/2. That is my last scheduled appointment right now. I have a feeling they will want me to schedule another one then, for the 40 week check up. Hopefully I've dilated at the next one!

Any Day Now?

how far along: 37 Weeks, 5 Days

due date: August 7th. 16 days left and 9.5 months pregnant at this point. Any day now baby girl, you feel free to make your appearance.

size of the baby: a large melon, or probably between 6-7 pounds. at my doctor's appointment this week, the nurse practitioner said by looking at me, she thinks she will be around 8 pounds.

baby is: building her nerve connections, which will help her learn in the future.

movement: yes. it's slowed down this week, and mostly it is due to the fact that she is simply out of room, and hopefully moving down into position. i will be checked at my next appointment and i can't wait to see what they say. even if i have no real progress at that point, it will be a good reference.

gender: baby girl.

total weight gain: unofficially, 25 pouinds. i was 177 at the doctors on Wednesday, but still 174 on my home scale in the mornings. so i'm saying 25 pounds.

stretch marks: eh, just the few on the tops of my thighs, not concerning. i do rub the cream though after my showers and i notice my belly gets itchy by the end of the day.

symptoms: just basically being uncomfortable and in pain. i have had contractions every day, but i believe them to be braxton hicks. they happen 10-15 times, but nothing in a pattern that is easily tracked.

wedding rings on or off: off for good.

belly button in or out: still flush with the rest of my stomach. i don't expect it to pop.

maternity clothes: today at work I am in yoga pants and a t-shirt. I literally have 4-5 outfits I can wear that still fit. 

  

sleep: last night wasn't the worst for the first time in weeks.

missing: a pain free life! have you ever watched a show about overweight and obese people that say that extra weight physically hurts? it does.

cravings/aversions: chocolate milk always

cries: mm i almost cried the other day. work has been really stressful this week because my boss is on vacation so i am picking up the slack. i just want to be relaxing!

nursery: pretty much done. i ordered some shelves for her books and things, they should arrive monday and jesse will hang them. i might take another crack at those canvases, we will see.

Jesse is: planning! last night we talked about what we would do when i go into labor, who he would contact, and where to meet when i call him.

best moments: i suppose the good reports i've gotten at the doctors. i am so very lucky to have had such an uneventful pregnancy so far.

not so best moments: physical pain. and still working honestly. when you're this pregnant, you just kind of want to go home and pretend nothing exists but you and your baby.

looking forward to: her being here! i will be 38 weeks on Sunday and i'm just counting down the days until I hit 40. If I hit 40!

next appointment: Tuesday 7/26. they are going to check me at this appointment! 

Waddling Along with Good News

how far along: 36 Weeks, 4 Days (9 MONTHS OFFICIALLYYYYY!!!)

due date: August 7th. Only 24 days until my due date. It seems like much shorter and yet much longer. I can't explain it. I look at the weeks on my work calendar and think, it will be here before I know it and can I really get everything done? Then I think, 24 days is such a long time!

Courtesy of The Bump app

size of the baby: the size of a papaya, or 18.7 inches/5.73 pounds. Some apps say she is longer, some say she is heavier. we won't know for a couple of weeks her exact weight of course, but I think she will be in the high 7's or even over 8 pounds!

baby is: finalizing her growing. her digestive system will continue to perfect itself while she is outside the womb and eating breast milk.

movement: yes and it has gotten painful. i believe the pelvic pain she is causing is because she is moving further down. which is a good thing!

gender: girl! I was showing my mom the 90% completed nursery last night and I didn't realize how much pink stuff we have.

total weight gain: still hovering around the 173. i didn't gain any weight from last week to this week. though i have been eating ice cream daily and really feel like i look big.

stretch marks: i'm getting concerned about what's happening under my belly where i can't see...

symptoms: omgosh i am hot. sooo hot. it's easily 100 degrees here with the humidity every single day. i am unbearably hot almost every night so i sleep with no covers.

wedding rings on or off: still off. i wear my wedding band on my necklace, but no rings will grace these fingers for weeks to come.

belly button in or out: still flush with the rest of my stomach. i don't expect it to pop.

maternity clothes: obvi. sometimes if i'm just around the house i wear cropped yoga pants and an old t-shirt, but they no longer cover my belly.

  

sleep: still not good. i can't wait to sleep on my stomach again!

missing: all the regular things. feeling comfortable. being able to get off the couch easily. rolling over in bed easily.

cravings/aversions: still chocolate milk and ice cream. cookie dough specifically.

cries: on sunday jesse and i were lying in bed and he was saying how he missed going to the beach as a kid and i reminded him that we will have her to take to the beach now and won't that be so much fun. and it made me tear up thinking about her in a cute little bathing suit and hat and playing in the sand.

nursery: like i said, about 90% completed. i've sort of given up on my canvas experiment. i am NOT creative or artistic. but the other things in her nursery are completed and can be hung.

Jesse is: into buying things. he wants to buy a mamaroo, which if you aren't familiar, is basically a $300 swing. i was totally against it at first but he was like what if she loves it. he wants to buy her a new high chair, anything she needs, he wants to buy her.

best moments: my daily bowl of ice cream hah.

not so best moments: just the physical pain this last month has brought. sciatic nerve pain, tailbone pain, just moving around doesn't feel good. plus the pelvic pain of her descending.

looking forward to: getting Lucy groomed this weekend! she is going to get the full spa treatment and our house won't be so covered in dog hair 24/7.

next appointment: we scheduled all my appointments up until my due date! all Tuesdays. so next is 7/19. My last appointment went really well, hence the blog title good news. My blood pressure looks good, her heartbeat is good, i'm measuring right on track, PLUS i didn't test positive for the Group B Strep. Which means no antibiotics while I give birth! Even though it hasn't been the easiest pregnancy for me, it has been for our baby girl and that's what matters in the end. 

32 Days!

how far along: 35 Weeks, 3 Days

due date: August 7th, 4 weeks and 4 days to go! Though tomorrow is July 7 and that is one month away from August 7th!

size of the baby: Approximately 19-22 inches (hopefully she doesn't grow any longer!) and 5.5 lbs. Though I think she might weigh a tad more than that since 3 weeks ago she weighed 4.8lbs.

baby is: hiccuping due to her intake of the amniotic fluid to help her learn to breathe on her own outside of the womb.

movement: yep! she butt bumps me and pushes all the way out at the top of my stomach sometimes. 

gender: girl

total weight gain: welp, yesterday at the doctors i was 173.4. i'm OK with it.

stretch marks: nah. any that i can see are very faded. i'm not super worried about this either!

symptoms: reflux still, overall being very warm. it's in the 90's here this week and incredibly humid. on my way to work it was 81 degrees (at 8:45am). i sleep without any covers or sheets in my nightgown and still sweat.

wedding rings on or off: off. i wore just my band yesterday and the rash came back. so no rings for the rest of the pregnancy probably.

belly button in or out: sort of in? sort of just flat with the rest of my stomach.

maternity clothes: duh. also, new bras have now been pushed to the last clasp they can. if i grow anymore, i'll have to buy a bra extender.

  

sleep: not great. up and down constantly, hot, can't get comfortable, back aches.

missing: feeling comfortable when i lay down at night. i used to long for the comfort of my bed, now i just sort of dread going to sleep.

cravings/aversions: chocolate milk and ice cream.

cries: we went to a wedding on Saturday and I cried at the father/daughter dance. it's always the relationship of the father/daughter at weddings that gets me.

nursery: almost done! Jesse just has to hang things on walls and then we are good to go!

Jesse is: working a lot. whether at work, or at home, he is always cleaning something or buying things for the house or making money. i know maternity leave isn't a vacation. i know that. but part of me just looks forward to being able to hang out with him and our new baby.

best moments: probably hanging out at my mom's house on Sunday night. we had dinner and played games and generally just lounged. it felt nice and normal.

not so best moments: being hot and irritated. when you're this pregnant, you don't want to do anything but get your house ready and things like work and being places at certain times become a hassle.

looking forward to: the weekend of course. no work, jesse is off which will be nice, and we are getting together with friends we haven't seen in a long time.

next appointment: next tuesday. i'm every week now and i will find out if i have the group b strep or not.

Bumpdate #34

Totally unreliable, and  yet I still read them.

how far along: 34 Weeks, 3 Days

due date: August 7th, 39 days to go! It's crazy that I only have a little over a month left. And honestly, she could come any time in that month.

size of the baby: approximately 5-5.5 pounds now. it's been almost 2 weeks since my ultrasound and she weighed 4.8 lbs then. all the apps are wrong! one says 4.63 pounds approximately this week! sorry The Bump app, you're off by a pound probably.

baby is: packing on fat, getting ready for delivery!

movement: really running out of room. when she moves, it is almost painful.

gender: totally girly. i didn't realize how many pink outfits i had until i did her laundry this weekend.

total weight gain: 22 pounds officially. i had an appointment yesterday and weighed 172.6.  i'm not concerned and at this point, i'm still eating fairly healthy.

stretch marks: no new ones to discuss. still rubbing on the belly butter.

symptoms: reflux, swelling, cervix pain, joint pain, just generally feeling very uncomfortable.

wedding rings on or off: off. unfortunately i developed a small rash where they were rubbing. i guess from the heat and swelling. so i'm not wearing them anymore, which looks so odd to me.

belly button in or out: in this sort of fleshed out state where it's not really in but it's not poking out.

maternity clothes: if i didn't have to go to work every day, i would wear nothing but tank tops, no bra, and cropped yoga pants. unfortunately i have to look presentable so i'm making it work somehow.

  

sleep: eh. i've sort of given up thinking i'll get a nice night of sleep anymore.

missing: my old body. and it wasn't even that great! but it definitely didn't have 22 extra pounds and a bowling ball for a stomach.

cravings/aversions: still chocolate milk. i like to have a glass a day. Jesse brought home non-fat milk the other day and it totally bummed me out. whole milk chocolate milk is so much better.

cries: sometimes i want to, just because i feel so uncomfortable. but i don't. i realized the other day that i can't be the baby anymore because now i'll have a baby.

nursery: we worked really hard over the weekend and i'd say it's about half done. Jesse and his brother built the crib, I did a bunch of her laundry, put the crib sheet on, cleaned up the changing table and have that almost ready to go, picked out some things at michael's to make bible verse canvas hangings, sorted her clothes. we have a 3 day weekend coming up, thank goodness, so i'm hoping he'll get her dresser built and we can officially get it ready!

Jesse is: gearing up for baby girl. he installed both car seat bases, helped me build the stroller, built the pack'n'play, went with me to Target to pick out a bunch of things we still needed. he has been really supportive.

best moments: getting the nursery together. it feels good to build the room that will be hers. another person will be living in our house soon!

not so best moments: i'm over working honestly. it should be mandatory to stay home the last month of pregnancy and just prepare yourself for your new baby.

looking forward to: Jesse building the dresser, filling it with her clothing and such. and basically just relaxing this weekend. we have 3 whole days, but a wedding Saturday night. I'm going to take it super easy since I have had swelling in my feet and ankles and by the end of the night I am so tired and achy.

next appointment: next week! July 5. They are every week now and I cannot believe I'm already here.

Big Things Happening

My beautiful sister-in-law and I at the shower. She helped plan and everything was so amazing!

how far along: 33 Weeks, 2 Days

due date: August 7th, 47 days to go!

size of the baby: last week we had an ultrasound! She is soooo precious. The ultrasound tech said she weighs approximately 4.8 pounds. Whoa!

baby is: still head down and measuring perfectly normal!

movement: oh yes. the ultrasound tech confirmed her positioning, where her booty is and her feet are. sometimes she butt bumps me and i feel like she's dancing.

gender: still a girl! the tech could see that perfectly. thank goodness because we have prepared and prepared for a girl. i don't think my mind could switch to boy now.

total weight gain: still haven't broken into the 170 mark, which makes me very happy. i figure even if i do hit that number, it will be at the very end of the pregnancy and i will be ok with that.

stretch marks: ehhh no. i rub on my cream every day and i haven't noticed anything new and the ones i did notice seem to have faded.

symptoms: oof. reflux like whoa. some swelling in my feet and legs. plus i am hot. hot hot hot. this morning it was 87 degrees before 9am and i cannot handle it.

wedding rings on or off: well it is 9:37am and i have taken them off. when it's too hot, i can't wear them. plus they're making me have a rash, i assume because they're so tight and air can't get underneath.

belly button in or out: still hanging in. i have a feeling it will never pop out, which is ok!

maternity clothes: of course. i'm wondering how many outfits i can make with my limited quantity of maternity clothes.

  

sleep: sleep is sleep i suppose. i get hot, i get up to pee, i get up to take tums for my reflux.

missing: feeling cool. yesterday i took Lucy for a 15 minute walk and i was sweating so bad. i don't think i ever officially cooled off.

cravings/aversions: chocolate milk. all day err day.

cries: almost cried at my shower but didn't. i just couldn't believe all the people that came to shower me and baby girl. i felt so blessed.

nursery: oh big moves here! finally. jesse painted yesterday (yay!). tonight he wants to figure out where furniture will go and this weekend he will build the crib (eek!). i am going to start filling it back up with her clothes and blankets and other goodies that i took out so he could paint. i just can't wait until it looks like a real room and not a work in progress.

Jesse is: working hard to get ready for baby! on the nursery, he cleaned out the cars to get them ready for car seats and bases, he wants to go shopping for her to get all the things we didn't receive at the shower. it's so exciting!

Best friend from Boston!

best moments: this week was such a good one. we had our 32 week ultrasound on thursday and everything looked perfect! then Saturday was my baby shower and i just can't believe how well it went. i got so many beautiful and practical gifts, i couldn't believe it. i had an amazing time. plus! my best friend from Boston, who I hadn't seen since Christmas, flew down for the weekend to come to my shower. i felt so incredibly loved.

not so best moments: just feeling uncomfortable! third trimester is no joke. oh and maybe that hospital tour. while informative, it took over 2 hours! yikes we were bored. everything should have been condensed into 45 minutes honestly.

looking forward to: this weekend. baby weekend and getting her crib together and really putting everything in its place. plus my mom said she wants to buy my video monitor, though i've asked her not to because she has done so much already. but she insists and she is grandma.

next appointment: june 28th. just a regular checkup for her heartbeat and such. after that, i think i'll be once a week! 

8 Months and Feeling Big

how far along: 32 Weeks, 3 Days. Every time I gain a new week, I really lose a week! I'm running out of time before her due date. Technically, 7 weeks and 4 days until her due date, but it feels like no time at all!

due date: August 7th

size of the baby: 19 inches and roughly 3.9 lbs. We have an ultrasound scheduled for tomorrow, I'll be able to know her weight and length!

baby is: head down. i can feel her hiccups right at the bottom of my belly and base of my uterus. i'm hoping she is positioned correctly so that we don't have to worry about her turning or a c-section!

movement: this morning I woke up to pee (of course) and laid back down and didn't feel her. everything was very silent. i felt really scared, but had to reassure myself that hopefully she's sleeping! i have felt her since then, but i'm definitely freaking myself out all the time about it.

gender: Baby Girl Case is going to be named soon I can feel it!

total weight gain: this morning I weighed 167, my highest. that means up 17 pounds from pre-pregnancy weight and 23 pounds from the first trimester.

stretch marks: this morning it seemed the tops of my thighs had faded stretch marks. i haven't noticed any on my belly (knock on wood)

symptoms: reflux was not bad yesterday, win! other than that, just constantly needing to pee, and the belly feeling heavy, which results in a lot of upper back pain.

wedding rings on or off: on during the day. usually in the summertime, my rings feel tight by the end of the day. they're really feeling tight now and i take them off as soon as i get home for the night.

belly button in or out: my innie is hanging "in" there. 

maternity clothes: remember last week? when i said i was getting away with non-maternity shirts? no longer. i tried on 6 different shirts Monday morning before I settled for a maternity shirt and called it a day.

  

sleep: not really. i'm still getting a good 8 hours, but i attribute that to the fact that we go to bed so early (9:30pm most nights). i wake up and pee, or roll over because my back is killing me, or i'm really really hot.

missing: a flatter stomach. by no means did I have 6 pack abs, or even a 2 pack. but i didn't have a 32 centimeter bowling ball hanging off me and that makes things difficult.

cravings/aversions: i'm making Jesse take me out for a Mexican fiesta tomorrow night and it's gonna be so good.

cries: last night. when i feel uncomfortable and things get hard, i resort to tearing up.

nursery: not quite ready (read, not at all ready). but! I have deemed the weekend of the 25th-26th as baby girl's nursery weekend! my shower is Saturday, therefore we will be loading up a bunch of stuff into the nursery and mama needs a place to put it all! Jesse has fully agreed. We will be prepping and painting that weekend, and I want to go to a craft store and get a couple of canvases to paint on some bible verses that are meaningful to us.

Jesse is: sweet and awful at the same time. can i say that? sweet in that the other morning before he left for work, he lifted up my shirt and kissed my belly goodbye. awful in that he expects me to do all the things i did before i was pregnant and i just physically cannot.

best moments: nothing yet this week, though tonight we are touring the hospital and pre-registering and tomorrow is my 32 week ultrasound. we haven't seen the baby in 10 weeks, i am so excited!

not so best moments: saturday. we woke up and went out for breakfast and either something i ate the night before, or that morning caused me to have diarrhea and vomiting all day. i was not in good shape.

looking forward to: so many things packed into this week! hospital tour, ultrasound, shower, seeing everyone i love, i'm very excited for it!

next appointment: tomorrow at 2! i really want to remember to ask about her height and weight (as best they can tell of course) and some labor questions. how long will she allow me to be pregnant before inducing me and how early can i go into labor before she stops it? how flexible is the hospital? birthing ball? getting up and walking around?