Mommin' Ain't Easy

When Nina was only a few weeks old we took her to the doctor for a wellness check. One of the ladies behind the front desk asked us how we were doing at and that point, Nina wasn't sleeping horribly. She said that we were so lucky and the sleep deprivation was the thing that surprised her the most. I remember thinking, hmm, Nina must just be a great sleeper and we are lucky we don't have to deal with sleep deprivation!

Well.

Nina is going through her 4 month sleep regression and every night is different and every night is a horrible battle. Up every 2-3 hours, up for 2 hours at a time, constantly nursing, fussing, whining, and crying. Jesse and I are both exhausted and at our wits end.

I keep thinking back to that receptionist and her words. Yes, sleep deprivation is hard. I am so tired, I have a headache, and I feel like I could just lay my head down on this desk at work and fall asleep forever.

It's the stuff that comes with the sleep deprivation though. You start to question yourself, your abilities as a parent, why you wanted to become a parent at all. Ugh.


It's that second hour you're rocking and your nipples are sore and you're thinking, wait, do I really want to be a Mom anymore? What if I ran away?

And guess what? THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT. Your mind is completely scrambled like eggs because you have no sleep and your head is throbbing and you have to pee and you can't believe it is already 3am and you have to be up to function like a normal adult in 4 hours.

It doesn't mean you don't love your child. It doesn't mean you aren't a good parent. It doesn't mean you are going to run away or leave your child to cry or any of that.


You're just SO tired.

But then she smiles!

Cue the melting heart

I'm not crying, you're crying