First Corinthians

If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

1 Corinthians 1-13

I'm sure you've read/heard/listened to/seen that verse in many places in your life. I know I have. I've heard it at countless weddings, in tons of movies, in songs, and in church. I've also read it in the quietness of my own home. 

But I don't think I ever absorbed it until just now. Literally just this moment. 

The last line. And now these three remain: Faith, Hope, and Love. But the greatest of these is love.

I've just never noticed before how true that statement is. The three things I need the most in my life are faith, hope, and love. 

In my struggle with infertility, I face these every single day in a way. This struggle constantly tests my faith, hope, and love. I am constantly struggling with losing my hope. To look at the future and wonder if we will ever be parents. But isn't that what keeps us going? The sheer fact that we can hope, that we can believe in things and keep our faith even when everyone and everything around us is telling us not to hope. 

And my love. My husband. The one person in the world that I am struggling through with. The one person that knows exactly what we want, what we are hoping for and what we have faith in. He is my love and I am his and without him, my faith and hope wouldn't matter. Because the greatest of these is love. 

Recap//Weekending

We spent a lot of time with family and friends this weekend, which was very nice. Saturday morning Jesse and I woke up early and went to breakfast at Family Meal.

Blueberry pancakes, breakfast sandwich, pimento hoe cakes, and coffee. (Grits not pictured, but delicious all the same)

They have so much to look at, it could take you two hours at least.

We went shopping at a vintage barn sale that's held once a month. We didn't find much, everything has gotten kind of expensive. It was such a beautiful day though, I didn't really mind walking away with nothing.

That night we had everyone over for our Italian potluck night. My cannolis and tiramisu turned out delicious! I was very proud.

My brother-in-laws and their families stayed until pretty late, I was so happy to fall into bed that night.

The next morning we went to church, had lunch with my parents, then went to a mall with a Bass Pro shop because that is what my niece wanted to do for her 5th birthday. She loved looking at the big boats, the fish tanks, and the 4-wheelers.

Checking out boats we could never afford.

We had dinner and cake for her at my brother-in-law's apartment a couple minutes away and left around 8pm.  I was exhausted, let me tell you. All in all, a pretty nice little weekend.

My beautiful niece who is almost my height now. 

Now I'm just counting down the minutes to the next one.

Cherry Blossoms//DC

A couple weeks ago my brother and I decided to plan a trip down to DC to see the cherry blossoms. We had always talked about going while they were blooming but never got around to it. So we all took the day off and I put it out of my mind for a little while. Then last week, as I was checking the weather, I saw that Tuesday was supposed to be cloudy, rainy, and cold.  We briefly discussed cancelling, but I held out hope, and we went anyway.

We ate lunch at Taylor Gourmet. It was DELICIOUS. Seriously, if you're ever in the DMV area (DC/Maryland/Virginia), eat here for lunch. They had super quick service, a funky interior, and everyone agreed their sandwiches were delicious. Plus, they were giving these Spindrift sodas away for free that day!

Jackson sandwich on wheat.

After lunch, decked with rain coats and umbrellas, we walked to the Tidal Basin, past the national mall and to the Jefferson Memorial. I got some good pictures, but I definitely wore the wrong shoes. They ended up getting soaked, dirty, and gave me a blister.  Not fun.

I'm artsy you guys.

Washington Monument

Jefferson Memorial

Then we went to the American History museum. We didn't have a lot of time in there, but I swear, I could stay all day. We saw Julia Child's replica kitchen and Judy Garland's ruby slippers from Wizard of Oz.

And Jesse fake punched a mannequin's back.

If you are ever in DC, definitely hit up the touristy spots. I know it's cliche, and there are probably a ton of trendy/cool/informative places. But it is worth a look!

New Year, New Me?

Well, it's been a month. Since I last blogged. In case you hadn't noticed?

December was busy.  Busy at work, busy at home. Busy decorating, and buying, and wrapping, and working, and being with family, and baking cookies, and just living.

And I won't lie, I wasn't motivated.  My life isn't anything special.  I go to work, I come home. I spend time with my friends and family. I eat food and I sleep.  Gosh, typing it just bored the crap out of me.

Still not pregnant. Maybe we're trying? I don't know. We're of course doing the deed, but in my mind, it isn't trying. I think it is in Jesse's, as he keeps bugging me when I'm ovulating, but I simply don't feel like trying anymore.  I'm tired.  Of tracking things and checking the mucus (overshare...) and taking ovulation tests, and taking my temperature.  I'm just tired.  So I don't do it anymore.  We do things when we want to, and I'm not going to worry about it.  I'm a tad indifferent about the whole thing, but that's OK.  It's January and I need to focus on other things.

Like the fact that I went to the doctors on Friday and was 6 pounds over what I already don't want to be. I need to seriously incorporate the gym into my daily routine.  But how on Earth do people get up, go to work, go to the gym, go home and cook dinner and then find energy to do all the other "living" things?  Like spend time with your husband and kitty cats?  Not sure. I don't want to kill myself trying to live longer.  Seems a tad counterproductive.

Or the fact that I haven't cooked dinner in like a month!  OK, not true, I cooked Christmas Eve dinner, but not since then! Isn't that sick? Ugh, we have been eating out way too much, so I gained 6 pounds, and now I need to lose weight. Vicious cycle.

ALSO, I need to attend church more often.  The last 2 Sundays, I've either been feeling awful, or just really tired, and wholly unmotivated.  So we don't go, and then I immediately regret my decision.

Thankfully, we have started attending a bible study with 2 other couples that attend church. I've never read much of the bible, and this is helping. We are on Romans right now, and I'm learning. Slowly, but I'm learning. Sometimes I have to reread what we read in the study because I don't understand the first time. But everyone does that right?

Ok, wrapping this up. Exercise more, eat a lot less ice cream, and read the bible.  Lofty, Jess.

Don't worry, I will have abandoned these by February 1.

OH! And now a photo dump.

Christmas decorating skillz.

More skillz.

Babies helping mama wrap.

The Christmas collar with bells on it. He didn't mind it after awhile.

My parents' tree.

Favorite show coming to Netflix Jan. 1? Don't mind if I do.

First smoothie in the Nutribullet. Delish.

Sweet Millie.

Veteran's Day

I've been a little silent lately.  I've found it's taking some time to get me to feel like myself again.  I thought a couple of Fridays ago, I was there. But I was wrong.  I've been moody, depressed, tired. Like I don't want to go anywhere or do anything.

Jesse has been so supportive though.  My veteran (because if you can't say it today, when can you say it?) is the best thing that has ever happened to me.

My life changed dramatically when I started dating Jesse. Only a year and a half into our relationship, he deployed to Iraq.  That year changed me.

I was 21 years old, engaged to a soldier who was deployed to Iraq.  I lived at home with my parents, slept in a twin bed, and worked full time for a mortgage company that I hated.  I went to school part time at night and did my absolute best to stay busy.

Every now and then during that year, some commercial would come on, or a song would play on the radio, and I would stop breathing.  Even though I talked to Jesse all the time, I would constantly remind myself that something could happen. That I would have to be prepared.  That I needed to keep in contact with his father, because if something DID happen, I wouldn't even be notified.  The army doesn't care if you're dating, if you're engaged, only if you're married or a blood relative.  One of my worst fears during that time was Jesse would be killed and I wouldn't know it until much, much later because no one would notify me.  And I would just be wondering where he was or what he was doing. And then some call would come in days later with the worst news.

But Jesse came home. We moved in together. We got married. We bought a house.  And I remind myself every day, not just on veteran's day, that none of that would have been possible if our men and women just gave up the fight. If everyone decided to lay down arms, not risk anything or sacrifice themselves for my freedom.  If those men and women weren't selfless, I wouldn't have everything I count on today.  So I thank not only my gorgeous husband, but two of his brothers, both of his grandfathers, both of my grandfathers, one of my uncles, many of my friends, and countless others that joined, fought, and came home to their loved ones.  Thank you. Thank you for everything.

The Weekenders

This weekend was truly busy. Busy and hot.  The temperature on Sunday rose to at least 80. Boo to summer rearing its ugly head again.

Friday night we did basically nothing. I was battling a cold all week and it finally took me down for the count on Friday morning.  I snuggled with kitties all day and ate leftover homemade chicken noodle soup (made by Jesse!).

Saturday we went yardsaling (not a word, don't judge) and Jesse found a bike.  He has been wanting one for awhile and at $60 for a new-ish bike in great condition, we knew we had to scoop it up.

I also found this truly adorable trivet.

Saturday afternoon we went to Jesse's grandfather's 90th birthday party.

Jesse has a large Italian family and all but 2 cousins were there.  I am very blessed to be a part of this extremely loving and generous family. I don't have a large family, and the family I have is spread across the East Coast.  It doesn't make for huge holiday get-togethers, but it does allow me to appreciate family even more.

Sorry for the blurry picture! Stupid iPhone.

So basically we ate delish food, celebrated a wonderful man, and hung out with some cool kids.

Sunday we went to the Maryland wine festival.  It took a bit of convincing on my part to get Jesse to go, because at $30 bucks a pop, it's an expensive way to spend a Sunday afternoon.  But we went and met up with my parents and some family friends.  I found pretty good wines.  I didn't purchase anything because I am sure I can find the wines in my town for possibly cheaper.  I'm really enjoying drinking Maryland wines.  I like knowing that my money goes back to my state, plus it just makes me feel more of that MD pride.

Again - stupid iPhone.

I had the windows open all last week, but finally closed them and turned the air on last night. It was such a bummer. But they were thrown open again this morning before I left for work, so I suppose I can't complain too much.

This boy.

P.S. - I'm done taking my medication for last week to increase my ovulation.  The appointment is this Wednesday and the reality is finally setting in that possibly, maybe, hopefully, don't count on it, don't get your hopes up, but it truly could be the month where we conceive.

Happy Anni-Vada-Versary!

Yesterday was our 2 year wedding anniversary.  Jesse surprised me with tickets to see Dirty Dancing at the National Theater in DC.

Two things about me -

1. I love love love musicals.

2. I love love love Dirty Dancing.

So when he told me last weekend this is what we would be doing for our anniversary, I was super excited!

First we decided to go down and have dinner at the Occidental Grill in the Willard Hotel.  It was a beautiful evening and we splurged a tad on dinner, but everything was delicious!

I ordered the rack of lamb and Jesse had prosciutto wrapped monk fish.  We also got the lobster mashed potatoes to split.  Yummmm.

Because we had tickets to the theater, they brought us free drinks!  I had the "Thyme of Your Life" cocktail and Jesse had a glass of prosecco. Both were delicious, but I enjoyed mine a little better.   I am a fan of wine, but not super dry wines, and this prosecco was just that.  Jesse enjoys a good dry wine though, so it was perfect for him!

After dinner we wandered around the hotel a bit, the decor was gorgeous and old and lavish.  I thought briefly about renting a hotel for our night out, but we have had a couple of large expenses lately so we really couldn't afford it. Next anniversary though, we are definitely staying in a very nice hotel!

Then we walked to the theatre which was a block from the restaurant.  I thought the musical was very good.  There were a couple parts that weren't in the movie, and everyone was a fantastic dancer.  It was also just nice to see live theatre again, I haven't seen a musical in a couple of years and this has really sparked my interest again.

After the show, we went home, and I didn't have to go into work until late this morning.  This was definitely different than last year's anniversary, we went apple picking at an apple orchard festival and went to the Antrim 1844 for dinner (which is where we got married).  Both occasions were great, and I'm looking forward to the next anniversary!

Also - a note about Jesse - he's the greatest.